Covenant School killer Audrey Elizabeth Hale wrote several entries in the journal police recovered from her vehicle that referenced her mental health, including an entry about her therapist, multiple references to autism, anxiety, and one entry that mentions bipolar disorder.
The Tennessee Star confirmed on June 5 it obtained about 80 pages of Hale’s writings from a source familiar with the police investigation into her March 27, 2023 attack, which claimed the lives of three 9-year-old students and three adult staff members at the Covenant School.
Hale referenced her brain in the first entry in the journal. In the undated entry, Hale questioned, “Why does my brain not work right?” She answered, “Cause I was born wrong!”
The killer next wrote in an undated entry to an unidentified recipient, “Love cannot be real if my autism is. Love cannot exist or fails to in this realm.”
It has not been publicly reported whether Hale was diagnosed with autism, and while The Star has now published the three anti-anxiety medications, nasal spray, and antidepressant Hale was prescribed, police previously disclosed Hale had an “emotional disorder.”
Born a biological female, Hale identified as a transgender man at the time of her attack and regularly used the name Aiden in her journal. It is not known whether she sought gender-affirming care from Vanderbilt University Medical Center (VUMC), but Hale wrote in her journal of her desire for a “trans doctor” just days before her attack on the Covenant School.
In another entry, Hale claimed she was accused of being “bi-polar,” in an apparent reference to bipolar disorder.
“I’ve been anxious all last week, all day today [stressed] then I’m told I’m bi-polar by some prideful b****,” Hale wrote, “no one gets me – everyone misunderstands autism.”
She then declared, “I’m not emo or bi-polar” but “a f***** with no lover.”
Formerly known as manic depression, those suffering from bipolar disorder experience “unusual shifts” in their mood or emotional state, as well as their energy, activity level, and concentration.
Hale provided possible insight into how her family responded to her mental state in a January 19, 2023 entry, which seems to reveal that Hale’s father provided advice for grieving the death of Sydney Sims, a middle school basketball teammate of Hale’s who died in 2022.
“Father is delusional,” wrote Hale. “Tells me ‘it gets better [and] better.” Using what appears to be another pen, Hale wrote, “old man, you’re full of s***!”
Hale next referenced her mental health in a February 7 entry titled “My Brain… This Life,” when she claimed her different mental status prevented her from establishing normal connections with other people.
“I’ve always been different. A lot of people run away from my difference like it’s the plague or something,” Hale added. “I think different” because “[b]ecause of my brain.”
Two pages later, in another February 7 entry, Hale again wrote about her purported inability to make interpersonal connections due to her intellect.
“It be better to be average [and] have friends,” Hale wrote. “The most brilliant people suffer the most and are the most isolated from everything they love.”
Hale later seemed to accuse her father of being “mentally ill,” “abnormal,” and of suffering from Crohn’s Disease in an entry that appears to have been written in late February 2023.
In another entry, after declaring her desire for “a trans doctor,” Hale referenced an unnamed therapist.
“My therapist now is the best I could get 4 help,” Hale then wrote, “My autism,” and drew three puzzle pieces, which seem to reference the international symbol for autism. Between the second and third puzzle pieces, Hale added what appears to be a drawing of a crying boy.
Hale wrote near the end of her journal, “Staying stable for life is like staying sober. It’s not reality.”
In addition to providing context about the killer’s thought process prior to her attack, these entries were written as Hale was a 22-year mental health patient at VUMC, where she started receiving treatment in 2001 as a six-year-old.
The Star reported on Wednesday that a Metro Nashville Police Department (MNPD) officer’s notes about the materials recovered from VUMC following a June 2023 search warrant revealed Hale told VUMC staff she experienced both homicidal and suicidal ideation, including fantasies about killing her father and committing a school shooting.
A source familiar with the investigation additionally told The Star that MNPD Chief John Drake acknowledged VUMC neglected its duty to warn Hale’s intended victims, which would have potentially opened the hospital or its mental health professionals to civil liability.
Star News Digital Media, Inc., which owns and operates The Star, and Editor-in-Chief Michael Patrick Leahy are plaintiffs in the lawsuits that seek to compel the MNPD and the FBI to release Hale’s full writings, including those some call a manifesto.
The Star recently published an FBI memo sent in May 2023 to Drake that “strongly” advised MNPD against releasing “legacy tokens” left by individuals like Hale. An FBI definition suggests that all written materials left by Hale, including the documents obtained by The Star and those sought in the lawsuits, are considered “legacy tokens” that should be withheld from the American public.
In a statement provided to The Star last week, the FBI declined to confirm that it sent the memo but acknowledged that it sends such “products” to local law enforcement partners.
Since The Star obtained Hale’s writings and a portion of documents from the Covenant investigation, it has published more than 40 articles that provide new details about the investigation or reveal the killer’s own words.
– – –
Tom Pappert is the lead reporter for The Tennessee Star, and also reports for The Pennsylvania Daily Star and The Arizona Sun Times. Follow Tom on X/Twitter. Email tips to [email protected].
