Covenant School killer Audrey Elizabeth Hale expressed frustration over being misgendered, satisfaction with the use of male pronouns, and a desire to have a “boy body” in a journal.
The Star on Wednesday confirmed it obtained dozens of pages from Hale’s journal from a source familiar with the Covenant investigation. The journal was retrieved from Hale’s vehicle.
A biological female who identified as a transgender male at the time of her March 27, 2023, attack on the school, Hale wrote about her struggles with gender identity throughout the journal.
In an entry dated February 21, 2023, Hale wrote, “I was called a woman, lady, and ma’am all in the same day.” She wrote, in capital letters, “I hate everything about my gender,” then added, “everything hurts.”
Hale, in an entry located two pages later but also dated February 21, also wrote extensively about being greeted using masculine pronouns.
“I was actually identified as a male today and it felt right but embarrassed of my female body,” wrote Hale. In capital letters, she exclaimed, “I should not be in this body!”
According to Hale, the clerk at a local store used masculine language with her including “bud, bro, and man.” Hale wrote the experience was “accurate to who I am as a guy inside.”
She wrote, “If only all other men [and] boys could see me that way, that my body doesn’t make me a female.”
After relaying her experience being identified as a male, Hale wrote that being misgendered makes her “not want to exist.” She wrote, “I’m just damn [tired] of being called [and] identified by a gender I am not,” then lamented having a female figure.
At the top of the entry, Hale also seemed to question whether her alleged autism diagnosis was a result of her “male brain.”
Hale also seemed to connect transgenderism with religion.
On the first page of the notebook, Hale questioned, “why does my brain not work right?” Then wrote, “Cause I was born wrong.” She then wrote, “Nothing on earth can save me… never ending pain. Religion won’t save.”
In an undated, two-sentence entry approximately 60 pages later, Hale wrote, “The [cocoon] of my old self will die when I leave my body behind and the boy in me will be free; in the butterfly transformation; the real me.”
She concluded, “If God won’t give me a boy body in heaven, then Jesus is a f*****.”
The Star reported on Wednesday that Hale wrote a three-page entry titled “My Imaginary Penis.” In the entry, Hale detailed her struggles with transgenderism and being accepted by her parents. She also wrote about fantasies of heterosexual sex that she enacted with stuffed animals.
Hale also referenced transgenderism and non-binary people in a political rant, declaring, “So now in America, it makes one a criminal to have a gun or, be transgender, or non-binary. God I hate those s***head politicians.”
Both Star News Digital Media, Inc., which is the parent company of The Star, and its editor-in-chief, Michael Patrick Leahy, are plaintiffs in lawsuits seeking to compel the Metro Nashville Police Department (MNPD) and the FBI to release Hale’s writings, including those that have been called a manifesto.
On Tuesday, The Star published an FBI memo sent to MNPD Chief John Drake in May 2023. Though the memo did not mention Hale by name, it seemed to refer to such writings as “legacy tokens” and “strongly” advised against releasing them due to concerns about “false narratives” and “conspiracy theories” spreading among the public.
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Tom Pappert is the lead reporter for The Tennessee Star, and also reports for The Pennsylvania Daily Star and The Arizona Sun Times. Follow Tom on X/Twitter. Email tips to [email protected].
Someone that dangerous needed to be in a locked down psychiatric unit with a multidisciplinary team of physicians, psychiatrists, counselors, nutritionists, physical therapy, & life coping skills training. Also spiritual guidance. Group therapy, etc.
Psychotherapist psychiatrist and doctors alike are complicit and are failing our young children of the truth.
Mentally Ill! She should have been put in a mental hospital!!