Covenant School killer Audrey Hale wrote in a journal, recovered from her vehicle after the attack, that she was accused of being “bi-polar” and called a number listed online as the National Suicide Prevention Helpline five times just over two months before the shooting.
The Tennessee Star confirmed on Wednesday it has about 80 pages of Hale’s writings from her journal, which were obtained from a source close to the Covenant investigation. In this journal entry, dated January 16, 2023, Hale also expressed concerns about losing her possessions after her death.
A graduate of the Nossi College of Art & Design in Nashville, Hale on at least two occasions wrote about being “scammed” online in business transactions. After being scammed, Hale wrote about her emotions.
“I broke my figurine,” wrote Hale. “My outburst was because I can’t stop feeling sad, angry, so sad, too much, too long.”
Hale then wrote about her mental state, “I’ve been anxious all last week, all day today [stressed] then I’m told I’m bi-polar by some prideful b****.”
She continued, “no one gets me – everyone misunderstands autism,” before later adding, “I’m not emo or bi-polar” but “a f***** with no lover.”
It is unclear from the journal entry who Hale claimed accused her of suffering from bipolar disorder.
Bipolar disorder, formerly known as manic-depressive illness or manic depression, is characterized by “unusual shifts in a person’s mood, energy, activity levels, and concentration,” according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH).
The NIH explains, “These moods range from periods of extremely ‘up,’ elated, irritable, or energized behavior (known as manic episodes) to very ‘down,’ sad, indifferent, or hopeless periods (known as depressive episodes).”
A list of prescriptions Hale was given from Vanderbilt University Medical Center (VUMC) staff, published by The Star on Thursday, did not include medications specifically used to treat bipolar disorder. Instead, the prescriptions issued to Hale were drugs commonly used to treat depression and anxiety.
In the entry, Hale also included seemingly mundane moments of her day, including that she ate her “favorite meal,” which was “chicken nuggets [and] fries.”
She also wrote that she “listened to 1-800-273-8245 [five] times.” That phone number is listed on the teenhelp.org website as the number for the National Suicide Prevention Helpline.
Hale’s reference to the phone number could indicate she called the number in previous years, as the National Suicide Prevention Helpline was updated to become the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or 988 Lifeline, on July 16, 2022.
Elsewhere in the January entry, Hale wrote that she would “hate to leave [her] animals,” apparently referencing the stuffed animals The Star reported she used to write about using to explore sexual fantasies in another journal entry.
“I can pretend to be them [and] do the things boys do [and] experience my boy self as Tony,” Hale wrote, adding that Tony is a “stuffed boy doll” she viewed “like the boy I am in another form.”
Born a biological female, Hale identified as a transgender male at the time of her devastating March 27, 2023, attack on the Covenant School, which claimed the lives of three 9-year-old students and three adults.
Michael Patrick Leahy, who is the editor-in-chief of The Star and Star News Digital Media, Inc., are both plaintiffs in lawsuits which seek to compel the Metro Nashville Police Department (MNPD) and the FBI to release Hale’s full written materials.
The Star published on Wednesday an FBI memo that urged MNPD Chief John Drake not to release “legacy tokens” left by Hale. An FBI definition of “legacy tokens” indicates they encompass all of Hale’s writings, including those obtained by The Star and those sought in the lawsuits.
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Tom Pappert is the lead reporter for The Tennessee Star, and also reports for The Pennsylvania Daily Star and The Arizona Sun Times. Follow Tom on X/Twitter. Email tips to [email protected].
Unfortunately , many psychoactive drugs have possible side effects that include anger , mood changes , hostility , outbursts etc. Yet people being prescribed psychoactive drugs are not screened from buying guns or ammunition etc.
As far as the shooter using a pell grant to buy guns – this implies that the tuition which the pell grant had been intended for , would have been paid for by whoever was supporting her financially . If that is true , it does seem odd that nobody knew she had purchased the guns. It would seem that whoever paid the tuition would have been aware of what the grant was spent on before writing a replacement tuition check
The parents of those kids she murdered need to sue Vanderbilt and the people who treated Audrey. She should have been in a mental institution. Someone being in therapy for 22 years and was still unstable. Something here is not adding up. And her parents have some skin in this game.
EVERY article I have read just gets worse. WHY wasn’t this young woman NOT in a Mental Hosp?! Further, she bought her weapons with a Pell Grant…… great, just great.
and, although I am very PRO 2A there is NO WAY Audrey should have been cleared to purchase a weapon with her mental issues.
Vandy, and all “medical professionals” dropped the ball on this… ALL need to be investigated.